I have been figuring out a way to write about this. What I call “the frustrated body” is hard to explain if you don’t live in one. Okay, everyone has a frustrating body at some point, though. Even a person without a disability could be accident-prone, have aches and pains, or find they can’t do everything they want. My mom had a stroke about 16 years ago, and while she was recovering, she would ask me how to get dressed. I would tell her it’s automatic; I just do it. But she had to relearn, which was frustrating for her. I don’t get frustrated that I can’t drive a car, I just know what I can do and focus on that.
For people born with cerebral palsy or other neurological disorders, having a frustrating body is part of life. We adapt and see it as our everyday routine. Then, some people might acquire neuro-muscular disorders such as MS, Parkinson’s, stroke, and as a result of a TBI (traumatic brain injury). It wasn’t until I started dating my boyfriend that I began to see how living with a disability from birth is so different than acquiring a disability. He still remembers the able body he was born with, but my body is my version of able because it’s all I know.
When someone has a neurological disorder from birth, such as cerebral palsy, as I have, we don’t mourn for a body we used to have. We’re so busy focusing on how to use the body we do have.
I observe what it is like for others to have an able body, yet in my eyes, my body is able, just a different kind that none understand unless you know what it’s like to be born with a disability. Even then, each person who has been born disabled carries themselves differently. Some will not let their disability get the best of them, while others feel that because they have a disability, they don’t know or can’t see how to live their life with a disability. So they just don’t try.
Therefore, the level of frustration we feel is different because we have a different baseline.
I chose to go beyond my disability. I know it can be challenging to go beyond your limitations, but I was given a life and want to make the most of it while I have a chance. As I get older, my body will be more taken over by my disability. I’ll experience the same age-related conditions that everyone experiences at my age, like arthritis, osteoporosis, and general aches and pains. I may experience these earlier than most. But with CP, there’s no way to predict how much more my body will be impacted, and it may not respond to the same treatments.
My message to those born with disabilities and to those who acquired one and are still grieving the life they once had is that life is still a gift. A body is better than no body, and you can learn to adapt. To those born with disabilities, you can educate those who acquire disabilities. Show them that they can still enjoy life because you’re also enjoying life. A little perspective is an exercise we can all do… along with the medicine we take.
We can focus our minds on the positive. That’s a choice we have each day. There are lots of options, like meditation, journaling, exercise as much as you can, getting fresh air, and working with what you can do.
OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES 