I have been working on myself for the last couple of months. I know that the more weight I have on myself, the more the CP takes over, and the less independent I become. I hate to admit it, but I did go on a drug to help with another health issue, and it helps with my hunger craving. While this isn’t the end-all to my weight issues, being on the drug has slowed me down from overeating.
My weight is one of the weaker parts of who I am. I want to acknowledge and improve the areas of myself that need improvement, and strengthen them. My cerebral palsy was the weakest part of me. I thought I was stuck feeling that way for the rest of my life. Then, something clicked in me: If I befriended the weaker parts of myself, I could start to trust and embrace them. The first place to start was my disability. I had to merge who I was with who I wanted to be. It took me most of my life to realize that I had to overcome my challenges. Once I found strength, I started to feel free. By embracing my disability, I became best friends with this side of myself. I would now like to become friends with my weight.
It didn’t take overnight to become friends with my disability; it was a long process, just as it will be a long process to be comfortable with my weight. I know I need to be a healthy weight to help me maintain independence. I have lost a small amount already because I can get dressed better and my clothes are more comfortable; this is a small step. Steps are better than a big leap because no matter how long they take, they build the foundation for the outcome.
After building the foundation for losing weight, I also need to create a foundation for living on a budget. Life is getting so expensive, and like so many on disability, I live on a small budget.
I have never been good with money. The next diet I need to go on is a financial diet. I’m now trying to learn how to make a budget that I can stick to. It has been hard because it means cutting out luxuries that make me feel happy, like going out to lunch or getting an iced hot chocolate. Although I miss these things, the real reward is that I’m saving money and I’m cooking at home, making healthier choices.
It’s not just about one thing here and there, but about all of these things added up. Every day that my clothes fit better and I have more mobility is a success. Every day that I can enjoy a walk (for free) or cook a meal at home is a success. Over time, all of these small victories add up to give me control over my life.
OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES 