Tag: HEALTH

Disability

Why Society Needs to Stop Grouping Disabilities and Aging Together

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

There are many different kinds of disabilities in the world, and I live with a physical disability just like so many others. One of the biggest frustrations I have with today’s society is how often people lump physical disabilities together with age-related disabilities. For some reason, society places the disability community and senior citizens in the same category, as though our lived experiences automatically line up.

I understand that aging brings changes—new aches, pains, and challenges. But seniors will never experience even half of what someone born with a physical disability goes through over a lifetime. So why are these two very different communities treated as one?

Yes, age-related limitations may qualify as disabilities, but they are not the same as being born with a disability or acquiring one early in life. What bothers me is that society doesn’t see the difference. Instead, they pile everyone with any type of disability into one group, as if we all face the same struggles and need the same kind of support.

I say this with love because I genuinely care about seniors. I study gerontology and have a passion for the elderly. And I respect disabilities that aren’t physical—mental health, cognitive, and more. But when you put people with completely different abilities and needs together in the same low-income building just because society doesn’t know where else to place them, it doesn’t work.

I know this firsthand. I’ve been living on my own for five years with cerebral palsy in a low-income rental building. It gets overwhelming—especially when I’m the only one here with a lifelong physical disability. Through this, I’ve learned something important:
There is a significant difference between being born with a disability, having a disability from aging, and having a mental or cognitive disability.

These differences matter. They shape our everyday lives, our independence, and the support systems we need.

There has to be a middle ground—a place for physically disabled adults who are independent, low-income, and not elderly. A place where we’re not forced into environments that don’t reflect our needs or our lived realities.

We deserve communities that see us clearly—not ones that group us together because it’s easier.

Disability

Finding Strength in Movement: My Journey With the YMCA Parkinson’s Program

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

I’ve always been someone who enjoys learning how the brain works. Living with cerebral palsy has made me curious about anything related to the brain and movement. But I never expected to be invited to join a YMCA program designed for people with Parkinson’s disease. At first, I was scared to participate because I didn’t know much about Parkinson’s. But then I thought, what the hell, and decided to try it. What I learned surprised me—our disabilities are more similar than I ever imagined.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog called “My Path to Peace Starts at the YMCA – Our Beautiful Challenges”, where I talked about ending my week with Tai Chi and meditation. Then I wrote “Fire Up Mondays – Our Beautiful Challenges,” describing how I kick off my week at the YMCA. So, what happens during the rest of the week? Well, besides my Monday and Friday routines, I’m also there on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a class called Movement for Parkinson’s Disease.

I don’t have Parkinson’s, but I do have cerebral palsy—and this class has been surprisingly perfect for me.

Understanding Parkinson’s Disease

For anyone who may not know, Parkinson’s disease is a progressive neurological disorder that affects movement, coordination, balance, and sometimes mood and thinking. It develops when the brain cells that make dopamine—a chemical responsible for smooth, controlled movement—begin to break down.

Despite being different conditions, Parkinson’s and cerebral palsy share some similarities. They’re both neurological, and both benefit from similar types of physical activity. Many of the exercises in this class support balance, reflexes, strength, and overall mobility—things that help both disabilities in many of the same ways.

What Is Movement for Parkinson’s Disease?

The program teaches that “physical activity seems to slow the disease process, decreasing pain associated with Parkinson’s Disease. Exercise through gentle, deliberate movements can help prolong independent mobility, improve sleep, mood, memory, and overall quality of life.”

Every month, our instructor changes up the routine, but we consistently focus on balance, mobility, stretching, and—even unexpectedly—voice work.

You might be wondering, Why voice?
As Parkinson’s progresses, many people experience softer speech. When I learned this, I joked with the class that I’m the complete opposite—my voice gets louder as I get older because of cerebral palsy!

Some months, we move through 30–40-second stations designed to target different mobility challenges, like bending, balancing, sit-to-stands, core work, and light weights. Honestly, it feels a lot like the physical therapy I grew up doing.

More Similar Than Different

The more time I spend in this program, the more I see the parallels between Parkinson’s and cerebral palsy—not just in symptoms, but in how movement improves them. The workouts benefit both conditions in incredibly similar ways. And even though we all come from different experiences, we move together with the same purpose: to stay strong, stay mobile, and stay connected.

In many ways, this class has become another part of my beautiful challenge—a reminder that movement isn’t just physical. It’s a community. It’s courage. It’s learning. And it’s choosing to show up, even when you’re scared.

Disability

PROTECTING YOUR PEACE IN A NOISY WORLD

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

“Peace doesn’t mean life is quiet — it means finding calm within the noise.”

Lately, it’s been challenging for me to write non-fiction. I’ve been doing more fictional writing because it takes my mind off what’s going on in the world. I’ve also been spending more time meditating — really, doing anything that helps me focus on something positive.

There’s just so much happening around us right now. So much information being thrown at us all at once, so many opinions and points of view. It can be hard to know what to think or where to stand. Sometimes, I even question myself — wondering if I’m being influenced by one side or the other. That’s how I feel about life in the world these days.

But this isn’t a blog about which side of the aisle I’m on, or an attempt to persuade anyone to see things my way. Because, let’s face it — that’s what makes the world go round. If everyone thought the same way, it would be boring. Whether we agree or not, we’ve all seen how what’s happening in the world affects each of us in one way or another.

For me, it’s about finding ways to protect my peace — to keep from being consumed by everything going on around me. When too much is coming at us all at once, we have to learn not to force ourselves to take it all in.

Here are a few simple ways I’ve found to quiet the noise:

Meditation: After a long day of listening to or scrolling through the news and social media, unwinding with meditation is a great way to decompress. It doesn’t have to take long — even ten minutes can help clear your mind and reset your energy.

Reading: A good book can take you anywhere you want to be — far away from the chaos of the day.

Music: Turn it up and dance out the worries. There’s something freeing about moving to your favorite song and letting the stress melt away.

Exercise: Sometimes, all you need is to sweat the day’s worries out. A walk, a stretch, a workout — anything that gets your body moving can do wonders for your mind.

I could make pages upon pages of ideas to help clear your mind from everything you hear throughout the day, but it all comes down to one thing: protecting your peace.

We live in a world where information never stops — it’s loud, fast, and sometimes overwhelming. But you have the power to step back. You can choose when to listen, when to unplug, and when to breathe.

Taking care of your peace isn’t ignoring the world; it’s preparing yourself to face it with calm and clarity. Because when you nurture your inner peace, you see the world more clearly — and you respond with love, not fear.

Disability

FIRE UP MONDAYS

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

Last week, I shared about My Path to Peace Starts at The YMCA. This week, I’d like to discuss Fire Up Monday. Mondays are a choice between two very different classes: Pilates Mat or AOA (Active Older Adult). Both occur simultaneously, and each offers its own benefits.

The AOA class is chair-based, but don’t let that fool you—it’s no easy workout. It combines cardio, weights, and stretching, and whether you’re sitting or standing, you’re moving your body in ways that make a difference. Out of all the classes I take, AOA is the one that gets my heart rate up the most. I’ve been going off and on for a while, and every time I do, I feel the impact. The only downside? It’s tough to get into because spots fill up so quickly. I wish I could take it more often.

The other option is Pilates Mat. I discovered this class almost by accident. One day, I came to the YMCA just to use the fitness center, but I ended up there early and noticed the Pilates class about to start. A trainer encouraged me to ask the instructor if I could join, and just like my Tai Chi experience, she welcomed me right away. She was quick to adapt the exercises so I could participate. Instead of being on the floor, I sit in a chair with a ball behind my back and between my knees to work the same muscles as the others on mats. After that first class, I felt like I had just finished a full hour of physical therapy—I could hardly move the next day, but in the best way.

I genuinely enjoy both classes. Each one challenges me differently, and both bring unique benefits to my mind and body. Mondays may start out tough, but they always leave me feeling fired up.

Mondays remind me that strength comes in many forms. No matter which class I take, I walk out stronger than when I walked in—and that’s what keeps me fired up.

Disability

MY PATH TO PEACE STARTS AT THE YMCA

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

Fridays have become my favorite day of the week. At the YMCA, I get to spend two hours in Ta-chi and meditation—a time to let go, breathe, and recharge from everything the week has placed on my shoulders. Living with cerebral palsy doesn’t take away the fact that I face the same stressors and responsibilities as anyone else. In fact, stress can weigh heavily on me because it can cause my CP symptoms to flare up. That’s why this Friday routine has become such a vital part of my life—it’s my anchor, my reset button, my peace.

When I first heard about Ta-chi, I never imagined I would be able to participate. But with the proper modifications, I found my way in. I sit in a chair, moving as best I can, and still receive the same benefits as anyone else—just in a different way. By the time class ends, my body feels so light and relaxed, like a bowl of jello, and my mind feels clear.

What makes this journey so special is the support I’ve received. Many instructors have been willing to adjust the movements so I can fully take part. My Ta-chi instructor, especially, has been a true gift. She always makes sure I have a version of each movement that works for me. Sometimes, she’ll even pause to show me an alternative before continuing with the class. She recently added a second Ta-chi and meditation class that’s more chair-based, blending gentle movement with mindfulness. To me, it feels like pure balance—movement for my body, calm for my soul.

Fridays at the YMCA remind me of a powerful truth: wellness looks different for everyone. What matters most is finding a way to nurture your body and spirit—no matter your limitations, no matter your challenges. With creativity, support, and persistence, peace is always possible. And if I can find it in my own way, so can you.

Disability

SPEEKING TO MYSELF WITH KINDNESS

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

The way I would speak to myself with kindness will tell myself that I’m who I am. I have my mind, I can make my own choice, and I can live independently. I may have cerebral palsy, it may limit me at times, but it’s not who I am. My disability is only a disability; it’s a part of me just like my curly hair. Yes, I will never use my disability as an excuse for who I am. I have chosen to speak to those parts of myself with kindness, as much as I have spoken negatively in the past.

It has been and still is a challenge to speak to myself with kindness. Having a disability can be seen as a weakness. At this time in my life, I view it as a strength, but it wasn’t always this way. I grew to see that my disability was my strength. Until I learned to accept who I was, talking to myself with kindness was the one thing I hated doing the most. 

The negative talk from people paralyzes my sense of self. It wasn’t until I was so unhappy with who I was that I had an awakening of how if I kept these negative thoughts and talked myself into such a negative way, it stopped me from living. So, how did I change my thoughts to be kinder to myself?  

It took decades to destroy myself with negative talk, so why did I think it would take me a snap of a finger to switch my thoughts to positive ones?  It has taken me years to start changing my thoughts to a more positive outlook, so I can treat myself with the kindness I deserve. I only saw the weakest because of what people were filling my head with. I understand that other people were also telling us positive things, but we all know it can be hard to accept both the positive and the negative. Unfortunately, if you had to pick one over the other to stay in your mind, most likely it would be the negative things that people tell you that stay with you.

When those negative comments from people get into your mind, it can be easy to force yourself. All these negative thoughts detract from who you are and who you aspire to be. It can break how you speak to yourself. It also makes you believe you’re worthless. That is how I felt about myself.  

And how to treat myself with kindness and gratitude for who I am. “Romo wasn’t built in a day.” It took me years to destroy myself; why would it take me one day to rebuild? It took me years to rebuild myself, and still today, I  don’t think I’m 100%. 

I have to face my reflection every day. I have to remind myself every day that I am strong enough to face life.  When living with a disability, there are days I just want to let the disability take over. There are days when I know that it’s going to get more challenging as I get older, and I don’t want to be the teacher the rest of my life. However, I want to live life to the fullest, and if that means practicing kindness with myself every day, then so be it.

Disability

EMBRACING THE WEAKS PARTS OF MYSELF

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

I have been working on myself for the last couple of months. I know that the more weight I have on myself, the more the CP takes over, and the less independent I become. I hate to admit it, but I did go on a drug to help with another health issue, and it helps with my hunger craving. While this isn’t the end-all to my weight issues, being on the drug has slowed me down from overeating.

My weight is one of the weaker parts of who I am. I want to acknowledge and improve the areas of myself that need improvement, and strengthen them. My cerebral palsy was the weakest part of me. I thought I was stuck feeling that way for the rest of my life. Then, something clicked in me: If I befriended the weaker parts of myself, I could start to trust and embrace them. The first place to start was my disability. I had to merge who I was with who I wanted to be. It took me most of my life to realize that I had to overcome my challenges. Once I found strength, I started to feel free. By embracing my disability, I became best friends with this side of myself. I would now like to become friends with my weight.

It didn’t take overnight to become friends with my disability; it was a long process, just as it will be a long process to be comfortable with my weight. I know I need to be a healthy weight to help me maintain independence. I have lost a small amount already because I can get dressed better and my clothes are more comfortable; this is a small step. Steps are better than a big leap because no matter how long they take, they build the foundation for the outcome.

After building the foundation for losing weight, I also need to create a foundation for living on a budget. Life is getting so expensive, and like so many on disability, I live on a small budget. 

I have never been good with money. The next diet I need to go on is a financial diet. I’m now trying to learn how to make a budget that I can stick to. It has been hard because it means cutting out luxuries that make me feel happy, like going out to lunch or getting an iced hot chocolate. Although I miss these things, the real reward is that I’m saving money and I’m cooking at home, making healthier choices.

It’s not just about one thing here and there, but about all of these things added up. Every day that my clothes fit better and I have more mobility is a success. Every day that I can enjoy a walk (for free) or cook a meal at home is a success. Over time, all of these small victories add up to give me control over my life.

Disability

HELPING HANDS

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

The series

The word independent is a significant word to someone with cerebral palsy. The slogan of the community is “Life Without Limits.” This motto for a person with cerebral palsy and their loved ones becomes the ultimate goal, which is independence in our lives. There are four main classifications of cerebral palsy:

  • Spastic: 70-80% of the community is in the category with this
  • Dyskinetic: 10-20% of the community are in this type
  • Ataxic: 5-10% of the community have this style
  • Non-CP: about 5%, which means you have cerebral palsy, but someone can hardly see it 

If you are lucky enough (or not), you can have a mixture of two or all three. As for me, I’m mobile with the help of my walker, and am Spactic, Dyskinetic. As much as I can be independent and live life without limits, just like anyone, I have limitations (so part of me doesn’t quite believe in the “life without limits.” It just feels misleading to me); in a way, you do need help in life. Every person–with or without a disability–needs a hand in some way; it’s just about what kind of help a person needs to be independent. It should be “sky’s the limit” or “don’t underestimate us” because we want people to see us for who we are, not by our appearance.

When you have cerebral palsy, there are all kinds of levels of independence. You can have the autonomy of someone who doesn’t need help, then the type of cerebral palsy where you can be independent with minimal support. Lastly, there is the type of cerebral palsy that makes us entirely dependent on other people for help. The type of cerebral palsy that I have means that I can live independently with minimal help. When it comes to applying for this kind of support, it can be  tricky. I have always been caught between a rock and a hard place because I have cerebral palsy, and I need assistance with being otherwise fully independent. Having to ask for help to live independently makes you feel like you can’t be independent or competent to live like other adults. 

Generally, people with a physical or mental disability or seniors who need help with specific everyday tasks use Personal Care Assistants (PCA) services. I knew I had to get a PCA to help me (a Personal Care Assistant/Aide is trained to provide a wide range of services to individuals in their own homes. Still, because I moved on my own right in the middle of the pandemic, I wasn’t sure how that would go; I had to trust that the people who helped me would be a good fit during this time). As much as my parents loved and supported me and did anything for me, they still helped me more than they should have.

After the vaccines became available, I started thinking about getting someone to help by spring. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, but luckily, United Cerebral Palsy had just started a new program and hired an inclusion advocate. The inclusion advocate helps the clients of United Cerebral Palsy live entirely independent lives in the community.

Along with my inclusion advocate, I started working on things to help me be more independent, such as applying for SNAP (food stamps) and looking for and applying to a program that would best fit me for a PCA. Applying for SNAP was a snap (LOL)  (SNAP). Using a PCA took a little more because it involved some research. What kind of help would I need? I had already spent almost a year on my own. 

For me, the central help I need is with heavy cleaning and going food shopping. I’m okay with ensuring the dishes are clean and the daily stuff is organized, but when it comes to heavy cleaning, such as washing clothes, sweeping, mopping, and making my bed, things can get tricky because of my balance. 

The ultimate goal was to make myself independent in the best and safest way possible. Community First Choice was the one that best suited my needs (Community First Choice – CT.gov). The application process was pretty straightforward. This program is excellent because it works on the PCA waiver (Personal Care Assistance | Connecticut)

When the CFC person interviewed me, she was impressed with my independence but could see how fatigued I could become.  A big part of cerebral palsy is becoming quickly fatigued. Every person with cerebral palsy has a level of fatigue; mine can be very severe at times because not only do I have CP,, but I also have psoriatic arthritis (in remission)  Psoriasis – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic). I also have what is known as (Costochondritis – Symptoms and Causes – Mayo Clinic.)  When one of these health conditions acts up, it can debilitate me, let alone allow me to keep up with daily activities. At these times, I am grateful for the help that I have.

It took about a month for CFC to reply that I had been approved for 28 hours a week. The CFC program runs through my insurance, so unless I go over the 28 hours–at which point I would have to pay them out of pocket–all this help is paid for. 

The best part of the CFC program is because they work on the PCA waiver program, I get to pick who I want to help me. There are only two requirements: I can’t be married to the person or be dependent on them. See that either of these things don’t apply to me; I can hire anyone. It would be nice to fill the 28 hours with one person. It would be great, but that would be hard for one person. I have two PCAs, my sister-in-law, and a childhood friend.  It would be nice to add one more, but in time. 

Going through the process of becoming an independent person with a disability (from looking for a place to live to becoming an independent person with some help) has opened my eyes to the challenges of life. Still, there are programs to help people with disabilities be independent with a few good helping hands. 

Disability

SELF LOVE JOURNEY

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

I want to encourage everyone to love themselves. In order to love ourselves and our lives with disabilities, we need to understand our disabilities and how to work with them, not against them. Even though you see your disability as a weakness, it should be one of your best friends. You are going to be companions for life. Even the best roommates sometimes quarrel, but you work through the challenges.- Marie W.O.W.C.P.

If someone had asked me years ago how to describe my disability and the challenges that it gave me, I would have said it was the one part of me that I wished I could get rid of. If you asked me today what I would say about my disability, I would say it is the one thing that empowers me. So what happened between then and now? 

To understand and appreciate who I am, I had to go through a self-reflection and self-respect journey, which ultimately brought me self-confidence, self-compassion, and self-love. Three things that I thought I already had, but I didn’t. I wasn’t even close. It took me ten years to determine what I needed and wanted. It took me ten years to realize what life wanted from me. It took me ten years to realize that the one thing I saw as a weakness in my mind, body, and life was the one thing that was my greatest strength and empowerment in my life. 

From the moment I was born, my body challenged me, but what showed on the outside to the world wasn’t what I felt on the inside. What I felt on the inside was fear, imperfections, and the sense that I couldn’t be more than what my body showed the world. What I didn’t realize was that I was showing internalized ableism. 

Internalized ableism was challenging for me to understand and grow out of. (I have explained what internalized ableism is in a past blog post. So I won’t get into it. Please feel free to go back and read it if you want to know what it means.) I had to tear myself apart to build myself up again. I was feeding myself all the negativity that others were feeding me, and after a while, I started feeling and thinking I was all those things. I also added more to it because I was afraid of going near others who had disabilities. Most of all, I was scared of being with others with cerebral palsy. It was a hard pill to swallow when all I wanted was for others to see me without a disability, but then I was doing what others were doing, too, and I was only seeing disabilities in others. 

I always felt as if I was superior to the cerebral palsy community. I felt like I was in three parts: the woman side of me wanted so badly to be on the same page as other women her age, such as wanting a job and family. There was the Cerebral Palsy side of me that I feared would overshadow me, even though I didn’t know who I was at the same time. And lastly, there was me, who I thought I knew I was. I felt I could be like everyone else and have everything I wanted. It sounds silly, but I felt that if I didn’t see myself as a “disabled person,” then I wasn’t one. I knew what I wanted and what I was capable of, and it was always hard when other people brought me back down to reality by seeing my disability instead of the version I saw.

It wasn’t until I was alone during the pandemic that I had to reflect on who I was and wanted to be. Three months after the pandemic started, I could move into my apartment. This was my first time alone, and I didn’t expect it to be under these weird circumstances. My computer became my best friend. I found myself writing down all my thoughts and goals and reflecting on my feelings in the past.

Spending a year and a half with little contact with the world taught me my journey in life and how my challenges helped me become who I am today. By sharing all of this, I hope to inspire people to live in the moment and realize that we are a collection of our past, present, and even our dreams for the future. We can’t know who we are if we don’t spend time with ourselves, good and bad. 

I invented an exercise that helped me. I sat in front of my mirror, and at first, it was about looking at the physical part of myself, but then I realized it was about looking inside myself. I needed to sort out my life like a crowded attic full of dusty boxes. I needed to unpack my life story to figure out what I needed to throw out or polish up and keep. Doing this helped me grow.

Disability

GETTING READY IN THE MORNING

OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES

For me, getting ready for the day is a whole different experience from anyone without disabilities. Getting ready starts the night before; I make sure I have everything prepared for the following day, including whether I have to pack a bag, my clothes, enough bus tickets to get on the bus, and something in mind for breakfast. If I need to pack a snack or lunch, I need to prepare that, most of all, making sure I have a ride for the morning. I have to make a ride 5-7 in advance to ensure I have a ride to take me where I need to go.

In the morning, there is another mental checklist I have to follow. I set the alarm for 6:30 to 7:00 am to get out the door by 8:45 am to wait for my trainspation. Before then, I needed to get myself up, but as I age, it’s getting harder to pop out of bed like a toast from the toaster, so most day I have to set my alarm 30 minutes earlies so I can stretch out my body from a long night of being curled up in bed. Then I get up, wash up, and get dressed. This can take up to 45 minutes, depending on how I feel in the morning. It’s getting more challenging to get my socks and shoes on. I’m so thankful my boyfriend doesn’t mind helping me when he’s around. My socks and shoes have always been a challenge, but now more because I’m overweight. My weight is something I’m working on, but we will talk about my weight in another blog.

After getting dressed and washing up, I have under an hour to get breakfast and grab things I might need for the day out. I bring a bag with things I will need for the day, or if I’m going somewhere and need my computer, I’ll bring that. I try to be out in the hall 10 to 15 minutes before the bus gets here so I can be waiting. Most days, I just go to the YMCA, but when I  get there, I feel like I have already had a workout.

Getting ready for the day can be so exhausting, but it’s worth. Just because I’m disabled doesn’t mean I should stay in the house and waste my life away. That isn’t what I was put on this earth for: I was put on this earth to enjoy the life I was given.  For some people, such as me and others who are disabled, it is a struggle, but those struggles should empower you every day to live life.