The way I would speak to myself with kindness will tell myself that I’m who I am. I have my mind, I can make my own choice, and I can live independently. I may have cerebral palsy, it may limit me at times, but it’s not who I am. My disability is only a disability; it’s a part of me just like my curly hair. Yes, I will never use my disability as an excuse for who I am. I have chosen to speak to those parts of myself with kindness, as much as I have spoken negatively in the past.
It has been and still is a challenge to speak to myself with kindness. Having a disability can be seen as a weakness. At this time in my life, I view it as a strength, but it wasn’t always this way. I grew to see that my disability was my strength. Until I learned to accept who I was, talking to myself with kindness was the one thing I hated doing the most.
The negative talk from people paralyzes my sense of self. It wasn’t until I was so unhappy with who I was that I had an awakening of how if I kept these negative thoughts and talked myself into such a negative way, it stopped me from living. So, how did I change my thoughts to be kinder to myself?
It took decades to destroy myself with negative talk, so why did I think it would take me a snap of a finger to switch my thoughts to positive ones? It has taken me years to start changing my thoughts to a more positive outlook, so I can treat myself with the kindness I deserve. I only saw the weakest because of what people were filling my head with. I understand that other people were also telling us positive things, but we all know it can be hard to accept both the positive and the negative. Unfortunately, if you had to pick one over the other to stay in your mind, most likely it would be the negative things that people tell you that stay with you.
When those negative comments from people get into your mind, it can be easy to force yourself. All these negative thoughts detract from who you are and who you aspire to be. It can break how you speak to yourself. It also makes you believe you’re worthless. That is how I felt about myself.
And how to treat myself with kindness and gratitude for who I am. “Romo wasn’t built in a day.” It took me years to destroy myself; why would it take me one day to rebuild? It took me years to rebuild myself, and still today, I don’t think I’m 100%.
I have to face my reflection every day. I have to remind myself every day that I am strong enough to face life. When living with a disability, there are days I just want to let the disability take over. There are days when I know that it’s going to get more challenging as I get older, and I don’t want to be the teacher the rest of my life. However, I want to live life to the fullest, and if that means practicing kindness with myself every day, then so be it.
OUR BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGES 