Learning to Believe in My Body Again

One of the biggest challenges I faced was breaking my leg.

There was a time when I honestly didn’t know if I would ever walk again.

Living with cerebral palsy already made walking challenging, and suddenly I was faced with something that made it even harder.

But I wasn’t ready to give up.

Would I Ever Walk Again?

I worked hard to regain my ability to walk.

There were difficult days, frustrating moments, and times when I questioned whether all my hard work would pay off.

I had to learn how to trust my body again.

Every little bit of progress mattered because I knew what I was working toward.

I wanted to walk again.

When I finally recovered, I couldn’t believe I had made it through.

I was so proud of myself.

I had accomplished something I once thought might be impossible.

Unfortunately, that feeling was short-lived.

Then Came Another Challenge

A few years later, I developed psoriatic arthritis (PsA) in the same knee.

After everything I had gone through to recover from my broken leg, I found myself facing another challenge.

Once again, my body was putting me through something I wasn’t sure I could overcome.

It was frustrating because I had already fought so hard to get back on my feet.

I thought I had finally made it through one of the biggest challenges of my life, only to find myself facing another.

But this time, I had something I didn’t have before.

I had proof that my body could come back from something difficult.

I had the experience of knowing I had already overcome something that once seemed impossible.

I had learned how to fight for my mobility.

I had learned how to listen to my body.

And I had learned how to adapt when things didn’t go according to plan.

Cerebral Palsy Didn’t Take a Break

There is another part of this story that is important.

I wasn’t recovering from a broken leg or dealing with PsA in a body that started without physical challenges.

I was doing all of this in a body that already had cerebral palsy.

My muscles were still tight.

My balance was still affected.

My body still moved differently.

Cerebral palsy didn’t take a break while I recovered from everything else.

I had to figure out how my CP and these new challenges were going to live in the same body.

That is something I don’t think I fully appreciated at the time.

My body wasn’t just recovering.

My body was adapting.

Again.

It Knocked Me Down Again, But It Didn’t Break Me

Having PsA knocked me down yet again, but it didn’t break me.

I had to find new ways to work with my body and discover what helped me manage another difficult chapter.

And I began to understand something about confidence.

Confidence isn’t believing that life will never knock you down again.

It’s remembering that you’ve found your way back before, even when you weren’t sure you could.

Every time I thought I had reached my limit, I discovered another part of my strength.

That doesn’t mean I never became frustrated.

It doesn’t mean I never became afraid.

And it certainly doesn’t mean I enjoyed having to keep overcoming physical challenges.

It means that each experience taught me something about myself and about this body of mine.

Learning to Believe in My Body Again

For a long time, I think I focused on everything my body couldn’t do.

Cerebral palsy makes certain things difficult.

Breaking my leg made them even more difficult.

PsA challenged me all over again.

But when I look back now, I also see something else.

Look at everything this body has made it through.

My body has been challenged.

My body has changed.

My body has hurt.

My body has frustrated me.

But my body has also adapted.

It has recovered.

It has surprised me.

And it has carried me forward.

Getting back on my feet wasn’t simply about walking again.

It was about learning to believe in my body again.

Today, when my body gives me another difficult day, I can look back at everything we’ve already been through together.

I don’t always know exactly what my body will be able to do tomorrow.

But I know something now that I didn’t always know:

My body deserves my trust.

And after everything we’ve been through together, I’m learning to give it that trust.

💚 Seeing the beauty between the challenges.

— Marie W.O.W.C.P.