Living Independently: The PCA Journey — Part Twelve

Our Beautiful Challenges — Marie W.O.W.C.P.

For the past several weeks, I’ve shared a lot about what it’s really like to have PCAs.

I’ve talked about independence.

I’ve talked about being my own boss.

I’ve talked about trust, boundaries, communication, friendship, finding the right match, and what makes a PCA relationship last.

But I don’t think I could finish this journey without talking about the people themselves.

The people who help me live the independent life I’ve worked so hard to build.

So this one is simply a thank you.

Independence Was Always My Dream

For as long as I can remember, independence was something I wanted.

When you grow up with a disability, sometimes people have ideas about what your future is going to look like before you’ve even had the chance to imagine it yourself.

But I had my own ideas.

I wanted a life that belonged to me.

I wanted my own home.

I wanted to make my own choices.

I wanted to decide what my days looked like.

And eventually, I got there.

But one of the biggest things I’ve learned is that independence doesn’t mean building a life without other people.

Sometimes independence is possible because of the people willing to stand beside you.

To My PCAs: Thank You

Thank you for coming into my home and understanding that it is my home.

Thank you for helping without taking over.

Thank you for learning the way I do things instead of assuming there’s only one right way.

Thank you for listening when I tell you what I need.

Thank you for understanding when I want to try something myself.

And thank you for being there when I finally admit:

“Okay, I need some help with this.”

Thank You for Your Patience

Cerebral palsy means sometimes things take me longer.

Sometimes my body doesn’t cooperate with what my brain wants it to do.

Sometimes I know exactly what I want, but getting there takes a little creativity.

Thank you for giving me that time.

Thank you for not automatically jumping in just because something would be faster if you did it.

And thank you for stepping in when I ask.

That balance matters more than you probably realize.

Thank You for Respecting My Voice

One of the greatest gifts you can give a person with a disability is something incredibly simple:

Listen to us.

I know my body.

I know my routines.

I know what feels safe.

I know what makes me uncomfortable.

And I know what kind of life I’m trying to build.

Thank you to the people who understand that assisting me doesn’t mean making decisions for me.

My voice still belongs at the center of my care.

Thank You for the Ordinary Moments

Not every PCA moment is some big lesson about disability or independence.

Actually, most aren’t.

Sometimes we’re preparing food.

Sometimes we’re getting something done around my apartment.

Sometimes we’re going somewhere.

Sometimes we’re talking about absolutely nothing important.

And sometimes we’re laughing.

Those ordinary moments matter.

I don’t want my life to feel like one long list of things I need assistance with.

I want it to feel like a life.

And the people who can help me while still allowing life to feel normal are special.

Thank You for Growing With Me

I’m not the same person I was when I first started receiving PCA support.

I’ve learned.

I’ve changed.

I’ve become better at speaking up.

I’ve learned more about boundaries.

I’ve learned what works for me and what doesn’t.

I’ve also learned that I’m not always going to get everything right as the boss.

So thank you to the people who have learned alongside me.

The best PCA relationships aren’t perfect.

They grow.

You Are Part of My Team

I’ve used the word team throughout this series because that’s really how I see it.

I don’t want someone standing in front of me telling me how to live.

I don’t want someone standing behind me waiting to take over.

I want people willing to stand beside me.

That’s what a team does.

My PCAs don’t create my independence.

I’ve worked very hard for that.

But they help me maintain it.

They help me protect my energy.

They help me access parts of life that might otherwise be harder.

And sometimes they simply make my day easier.

There’s tremendous value in that.

Independence Has Never Meant Alone

If there’s one lesson I hope people take from this entire PCA Journey, it’s this:

Needing people doesn’t make you less independent.

None of us goes through life completely alone.

My support might look different from someone else’s, but that doesn’t make my independence less real.

I still make my decisions.

I still choose my direction.

I still have dreams I’m working toward.

I still get to decide what comes next.

I simply have a team beside me.

From Me to You

To every PCA who has respected my independence:

Thank you.

To every person who has listened instead of assumed:

Thank you.

To every person who has given me the time to try:

Thank you.

To every person who has helped when I’ve needed another pair of hands:

Thank you.

And to the people who understand that helping me doesn’t mean taking over:

Thank you for seeing me.

My independence belongs to me.

But I will always be grateful for the people who help me continue living it.

Because sometimes the strongest independence isn’t built by standing completely alone.

It’s built by knowing who you want standing beside you.

✌️ 😊 💛

Seeing the beauty between the challenges.

— Marie W.O.W.C.P.