The Quiet Power of Advocacy: What Advocacy Meant to Me Then

By Marie W.O.W.C.P.

Advocacy is something that has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

When you live with a disability, advocacy is not something you choose.

It is something that grows with you.

There are times in your life when other people advocate for you.

And for me, those people were my parents.

They were my voice before I knew how to use my own.

And I know not everyone has that kind of support, so I never take for granted how lucky I am to have had parents who stood up for me, protected me, and made sure I had what I needed.

But as I have gotten older… something has changed.

I have realized that I cannot always rely on other people to speak for me anymore.

At some point, I have to become my own voice.

And if I am being honest…

That has been one of the hardest parts of my journey.

When Advocacy Feels Like Too Much

There is a pressure that comes with being assertive.

Especially when you have a disability.

You start to wonder:

Am I asking for too much?
Are people going to think I am being selfish?
Do I sound like I have an attitude?

And that last one… that is the one I struggle with the most.

Because when I feel like people are not listening to me…
or when I feel misunderstood…

I get frustrated.

And sometimes, that frustration comes out in a way I do not like.

It feels like I go from saying nothing…
to saying everything all at once.

And that is not who I want to be.

The Struggle Between Holding It In and Losing Control

Being assertive is a big part of self-advocacy.

However, when I try to be assertive for myself, I struggle to do it in a way where I do not lose control of my emotions.

And because of that… sometimes I do the opposite.

I hold everything in.

I stay quiet.
I let things go.
I tell myself it is easier not to say anything.

But I am starting to realize that this is not healthy either.

Because when you hold things in for too long,
you slowly start losing yourself in the process.

You begin to give more control to other people—
to their opinions, their decisions, and the way they handle situations.

And before you even realize it…
you are no longer part of the conversation.

You are just going along with it.

The Space Between Silence and Reaction

What I am learning is that there is a space between holding everything in
and losing control.

And that space… is where assertiveness lives.

It is not about staying silent.

And it is not about reacting out of frustration.

It is about learning how to pause long enough
to choose how you want to respond.

That is something I am still working on.

Because when I feel unheard or misunderstood,
my emotions build quickly.

And if I do not express them the right way,
they come out all at once.

Learning to Stay in Control of My Voice

I do not want to lose control when I speak.

But I also do not want to lose myself by staying silent.

So now I am trying to find a different way.

A calmer way.
A clearer way.
A more honest way.

Even if it is as simple as saying:

“I need a moment to respond.”
“I am trying to explain what works best for me.”

It may not be perfect.

But it is a step toward becoming someone
who can speak up without feeling like I am losing control.

Growing Into My Voice

Advocacy is not something that stays the same.

It changes as you grow.

There was a time in my life when I needed other people to speak for me.

Now I am learning how to speak for myself.

And maybe one day…

I will be able to help someone else find their voice too.

This part of my journey is not perfect.

I am still learning.
Still growing.
Still figuring out how to balance my emotions with my voice.

But I do know this—

I do not want to stay silent anymore.

I just want to learn how to speak in a way
that truly represents who I am.

Seeing the beauty between the challenges.
— Marie W.O.W.C.P.